The whole drive back, I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. It was pathetic. I knew it was pathetic. My cheeks actually hurt from grinning like an absolute clown, and every time I tried to force my expression back into something resembling cold ,I'd remember the way her nose scrunched up when she dug through that bag, applied that damn LIPGLOSS
And I'd be smiling like a fool again
"Boss?" Marco's voice cut through my thoughts for the third time. "The Colombians called. They want to reschedule the—"
"Yeah," I said dreamily, staring out the window. "Sure."
"—meeting because their shipment was interrupted —"
"Mmhmm."
"—and they threatened to kill your entire bloodline if you don't—"
"That's nice."
Silence. I didn't even notice. I was too busy replaying the way the sun had painted her cheeks pink - that unique shade of pink, not that fake blush women bought in stores. Natural. Like she'd been kissed by warmth itself. And that middle smile, the one that wasn't full beaming but wasn't neutral either, just this soft little upturn of lips that said she was content. Happy. Existing in a world I suddenly wanted to rebuild, make safer.just for her.
Marco parked in front of my building and just... stared at me. Through the rearview mirror, I could see his eyes were wide. Terrified. As if he saw something terrible.  I'd worked with Marco for eight years. Eight years of burying bodies, breaking fingers, collecting debts. He'd seen me shoot a man for talking to me wrong. He'd watched me dismantle a rival family without changing expression. He'd never seen me blush.
"Boss?" he whispered, like he was talking to a ghost. "You... you're smiling."
"Am not," I said, pulling back that facade.
"You are. You've been smiling for forty minutes. You look... sick. Should I call the doctor? Is it poison?"
"It's not poison, Marco."
"Brain bleed? I read about this. Sudden personality changes, inappropriate emotional responses to sho-"
"I'm fine," I snapped, finally wiping the grin off my face. I mustered my best glare – the one that made grown men soil themselves. "Mind your business."
He flinched. Nodded quickly. But as I climbed out of the car, I heard him mutter under his breath: "Gone. He's gone. Dreamland."
I should have shot him for that. I would have, three hours ago. Instead, I just... blushed harder and hurried inside.
My mansion was cold. Huge. Empty in that way that used to feel powerful but now just felt... hollow. I poured two fingers of whiskey, stared at it. Put it down. Pulled out her photo instead.